3 weeks and counting

So I'm obviously not great at updating this blog, but that is not to say that I've fallen off the smoothie wagon. I'm still hanging in there at the 3 week mark. I saw Dad in Nebraska this weekend and it was great motivation for me to stick with this and support him. Amy had some great soup recipes and I was able to make him a couple of smoothies that he really seemed to enjoy. He ordered a cordless immersion blender that he is extremely excited about. It felt good to give him some practical help when there is really so little I can do for him in a tangible way.

In his blog yesterday he confessed that he's actually pretty scared about all that is going to happen now that his treatment has actually begun. It's pretty eye-openning to discover that your father has real vulnerabilities like that. But knowing that he wants and needs the support of his family and friends keeps me going with this. Every time I push "liquify" on the blender I remember to pray for him, his doctors and the treatment.

Additionally, Jason has been just incredible with this. He is so encouraging, especially when I want to cave in and eat BBQ potato chips, and has gone to great lengths to make sure I have good things to eat. Another reminder of how very blessed I am.

In the midst of it all, I can say with certainty that God is good.

Storm season

As storms were ripping through the area east of Norman this afternoon I was enjoying a SmoothieKing courtesy of my sweet friend Michelle. We were fortunate to miss the brunt of the brutal weather but the experience served to remind me of how blessed I am in so many ways: with great parents, great sisters, wonderful family all around, awesome friends and an incredible husband and daughter. I'm also blessed with good health and decent ingenuity in the kitchen. I'm getting excited about some of the options I have available for pureed pleasures. Tonight I made some pureed black beans with garlic and cumin. It's soooo good and it's calling my name again. I'm also looking forward to a repeat performance sometime soon of the cheese souffle Jason whipped up for my Mother's Day dinner. I almost feel bad cause there was nothing sacrificial about eating it!

I goes to show that a little determination, some resourcefulness and the support of people who love you can make the impossible possible.

I'm realizing how central food is to our culture. Everything is tied to what and when we are going to eat. This week we have observed Cinco de Mayo, I've attended a banquet for the Chamber of Commerce, celebrated Jason's birthday and am today celebrating Mother's Day. All of these observances seem to have food as the focus. And that's made it a little challenging for me. But I've made it through. Thursday night I sipped tea for 2 hours while surrounded by people eating bacon wrapped chicken, fresh salad, rice and some pretty yummy looking cake. The hardest part about it was feeling left out. I made a smoothie before going, so I wasn't really hungry, but I had to pass the time and engage in conversation while everyone else was busy eating. It helped that the vegetarian entree was not remotely vegan so Krystyn didn't get to eat either. We ended up looking like odd "creative types" but that was probably good for business. Then I went home and made myself yet another smoothie.

Friday night took us to Dan McGuinness as part of Jason's birthday weekend celebration. Fortunately the pub has some excellent beer cheese soup on the menu as well as hearty mashed potatoes so I was in pretty good shape. And there was no leaving me out when it came to beer and shots! Yesterday's cookout was the hardest - baking treats for everyone and smelling the brats on the grill - not easy. Thankfully the Bratchers brought their amazing black bean dip. Not intended to be eaten with a spoon, but it worked for me.

And now Mother's Day. I say I just want to be pampered but really, in my heart of hearts, a holiday like this feels like license to eat whatever I want. It's silly really, why is food my reward? My reward for today should be spending quality time with Emelyn. She is the reason this is a holiday for me, afterall. So I'm working on focusing on that and shifting my thinking from food as an event to food as fuel.

When I examine these thoughts I remember that food, like anything, can be an idol and idolatry is sin plain and simple. God is my daily bread and it's him who fills me up and satisfies me. These are good reminders for me for sure and I pray that God uses this experience to remind me of my need for Him.

And So It Begins

I wrote this last Wednesday night but am just posting it here.

May 5th, 21:48

I'm using this blog to document my experience on what I'm calling "The Smoothie Fast." The fast is in honor of my dad who is preparing to undergo chemo and radiation therapy to destroy a cancerous growth in his throat. Due to the location, the radiation would cause great damage to his teeth resulting in major infection, consequently it was necessary to pull all but 14 of his teeth this Monday. Between the toothlessness and the direct radiation to his throat, eating solid foods will not be possible for a few months - he is already on a soft foods/liquid diet and I have decided to join him. My reasons are to show support for Dad, to remind myself to pray for him, to remind myself of my complete need for and dependence on God, and to help devise a wide variety of tasty and nutritious things for Dad to eat.

I began my Smoothie Fast last night, about a day and a half after Dad was forced to do so, and so far it's going surprisingly well. I have a recipe book called Smoothies that is giving me some great ideas and I'm exploring soup, pureed legume and soft cereal options. I started with a banana/strawberry/pineapple/protein powder smoothie for dinner last night, then a similar concoction for breakfast that included strawberry yogurt instead of protein powder. Lunch was a delectable blend of my favorite protein source, peanut butter, banana, skim milk and fat free vanilla frozen yogurt. For dinner I whipped up an enchilada soup in recognition of Cinco de Mayo. Ingredients are canned pumpkin, green chile enchilada sauce and chicken broth topped with some cheese which quickly melted to liquid form. I included chicken chunks and corn tortilla strips for Jason's sake, but didn't serve anything solid to myself. Soup was served with a side of refried black beans - yum! I've finished my day with a non-fat chocolate frozen yogurt shake and then a couple bites of hummus to satisfy my "salty tooth." I have not been hungry and kind of wonder if I will lose weight or gain on this plan!

Mentally, though, this has already been challenging. I made a list of everything I CAN eat and have gotten some additional ideas from my friends, but I keep thinking of the many favorite foods I am choosing to avoid for what will prove to be a long time. The idea of not chewing or experiencing anything crunchy for two plus months is a bit daunting. But when these thoughts come to mind, I meditate on these truths:

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Man does not live on bread alone. (bread...)

I also remind myself that Dad has no choice in this matter and the least I can do is sacrifice a little to support him.